|A Duel Between Fools
A Duel Between Fools is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.
- The Borax Kid appears.
- 150 100
Howdy, folks! Mind if an old friend pleads pathetically for help?
Hey, everyone, it's the Borax Kid! But why would a debonair pile of minereals like you need MY help?
Well, sir, I'm the proprietor of Boronburg, a small borate-mining town on the Moon. Or I was, 'til a gang of robots moved in and took over.
I'll help however I can. Nobody cares more about boron than me.
I'm pretty sure I do.
I warn you, Fry, this gang is tough. Their leader's a robot named Clamps -- a vicious killer who rarely treats ladies with the respect they deserve.
Clamps?! Uh-oh. One time he nearly mangled me and my coworkers! And I'm probably forgetting some other times!
He's vicious, all right. The day he rode into Boronburg, he walked into the saloon and clamped the sheriff!
But he did not clamp the deputy.
Then, however, he did!
- The Borax Kid explains his town's tradition.
- Learn about Dueling
- Complete the Gunslinger Mission
- 150 100
Hang on, Kid. Remember you used your power to control matter and energy to get me my genitals back that one time? Can't you get rid of the outlaws that way?
Nope. The good folks of Boronburg don't much cotton to my tinkerin' with reality. They want Clamps taken out in a duel.
Okay, so challenge him to a duel!
See how my hand shakes? Hard living's givin me the gallium trembles. I can't even aim a TV remote, let alone a gun.
Then how do you defend yourself? I mean from bad TV?
What danger have you gotten me into this time, Fry?
The Borax Kid needs our help. We have to defeat a gang of outlaws in a duel!
The Borax Kid? Why didn't you say so? He's the reason I still have my genitals!
I haven't used them in years, but I appreciate having them back where they belong.
- The crew looks for the Moon Farmer.
- Build T.G.I. Folky's (4h)
- Get 5 Tombstones from Space
- Have the Crew Cast Bullets 3 times
- 300 200
Bad news, Fry. The Moon Farmer's joined forces with that outlaw gang.
Why would he do that?
Seems Clamps and his daughter The Crushinator are now engaged.
Sounds like a match made in clamping, crushing heaven!
By which I mean central Georgia.
I'm scared about this duel with Clamps, Hermes. What if a bullet shatters my spine?
The only form of duelling I'm familiar with is the good old-fashioned Caribbean limbo contest.
I can see if Clamps will go for that...
Dear God, no! You'd CERTAINLY shatter your spine!
- The Professor does some research.
- 150 100
So, this town of yours -- I imagine it's completely dependent on boron mining.
No sir! Boron won't be popular forever, and we don't aim to end up a ghost town like Fidget-Spinner Falls. We got all kinds of non-boron tourist attractions.
Let me guess: a craft festival, an escape room, a ghost tour, and five chocolate shops.
Five?... Of course -- five! You're a genius, Professor! Much obliged.
I don't appreciate you asking my friends to risk their necks for your stupid town.
Well, sir, we got a sayin' in the borax game: "You can't do the laundry without dissolvin' some detergent."
It's a metaphor in which laundry represents corruption and detergent dissolvin' represents people dying. Poetic, ain't it?
But they're my friends! How will I get by if they die?
You can only rob a corpse once!
- Ramblin' Rodriguez denounces the violence.
- 300 200
Bender? Why are you dressed like that?
The name's Ramblin' Rodriguez, and I'm here to protest all the recent violence by singing a folksong I haven't written yet.
Well, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace is good--
Wait, Ramblin'! Please -- finish writing the song first before you sing it for me!
But you might be dead by then!
I sure hope so.
Well, Fry, it's high noon in Boronburg. Time to face Clamps.
Why do duels always have to take place at high noon anyhow?
So's your Stetson'll cast a nice dramatic shadow over your face.
But I don't have a Stetson!
You don't have much of a face either. Or a talent for dueling, for that matter. But it's too late to worry about that now.
- Fry faces Clamps.
- 150 100
If I don't make it out of this duel alive, just know that I'll always be your friend.
And if you die, know that I'll write a song just for you.
Promise me that it'll be good. Or at least that you'll write it before you perform it.
Don't make this harder than it needs to be.
Well done, Fry. You took down Clamps and you lived to tell the tale.
I'm surprised I made it.
The odds against you still existing sure are astronomical. And that's coming from a magical riverboat gambler made of boron.
If I wasn't toxic to all forms of organic life I'd shake your hand.
- The Borax Kid's town is saved.
- 300 200
Well, looks like my work here is done.
Thanks to you, Boronburg has been saved. We can continue our transition to a tourism-based economy.
Have you considered advertising your town by sponsoring a popular podcast?
That's a great idea! Ads are the thing people love most about podcasts. Sometimes the only thing!
I thought your town was going to advertise on podcasts, not in prisons.
Convicts are tourists too.
No they're not! They're locked up!
Prison walls have been known to dissolve, my friend. 'Specially when exposed to a certain hydrated form of boron. So farewell! And tell your friends about beautiful Boronburg.