All the Wood's a Stage is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.
- Sir Knight Calculon stage fights.
- 750 400
What this kingdom needs is an infusion and celebrity! The people need to be entertained! And I, Sir Knight Calculon, am just the celebrity to do it!
I think the people have been doing just fine, Sir Calculon.
No, they haven't! Let us use dramatic entertainment to alleviate the pressures of the masses.
You point that thing at me one more time and I will alleviate the pressures of your wingwang.
Hermafroditee! Defend yourself against my exceptional fencing skills!
Sir Knight Calculon, I do not believe in fighting. Not even pretend violence is permitted in my pacifist's world view.
It is not pretend! It is acting!
Yeah well, the fact that I couldn't tell... that's a problem.
- Sir Knight Calculon trains his troop.
- 750 400
Gynecaladriel, your beauty lends you to the stage. You would make an make an extraordinary leading lady.
What are the terms of my employment?
You will be paid half the rate of your male co-stars, as has been tradition for thousands of years.
But take solace in the fact that you will not have to perform in nude.
Hmmm. You had me and then you lost me.
I will now demonstrate the art of the death scene! Titanius, come to me with that sword!
What, this sword? En garde, you villainous loser!
Alas, you need not stab me, for I have drunk a vial of poison to end my sorrows at the loss of my one true love. Arrggghhh!
And...scene! Just like that! I have disarmed both my onstage foe and the audience in one take!
Whatever you say, chief.
- Sir Knight Calculon performs a one man show.
- 750 400
There is no reason to share the spotlight when I can single-handedly deliver everything my audience needs.
Does that mean you're disbanding the theatre troop?
You will all develop amnesia, a crucial plot point of all the most acclaimed shows.
If you're looking for acclaim, you'd better give the audience amnesia too.
And so, my grateful fans of Cornwood, I do hereby thank you for your admiration.
You were afraid of me! You were in love with me! You died with me!
And now, I take my final blow and leave you to your normal boring loves and lives. Farewell, good fans!
Is anyone out there?