All the Wood's a Stage

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All the Wood's a Stage
All the Wood's a Stage.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Cornwood Ascending

All the Wood's a Stage is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1

Description[edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon stage fights.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon What this kingdom needs is an infusion and celebrity! The people need to be entertained! And I, Sir Knight Calculon, am just the celebrity to do it!

Leegola I think the people have been doing just fine, Sir Calculon.

Sir Knight Calculon No, they haven't! Let us use dramatic entertainment to alleviate the pressures of the masses.

Leegola You point that thing at me one more time and I will alleviate the pressures of your wingwang.


Sir Knight Calculon Hermafroditee! Defend yourself against my exceptional fencing skills!

Hermafroditee Sir Knight Calculon, I do not believe in fighting. Not even pretend violence is permitted in my pacifist's world view.

Sir Knight Calculon It is not pretend! It is acting!

Hermafroditee Yeah well, the fact that I couldn't tell... that's a problem.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon trains his troop.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon Gynecaladriel, your beauty lends you to the stage. You would make an make an extraordinary leading lady.

Gynecaladriel What are the terms of my employment?

Sir Knight Calculon You will be paid half the rate of your male co-stars, as has been tradition for thousands of years.

Sir Knight Calculon But take solace in the fact that you will not have to perform in nude.

Gynecaladriel Hmmm. You had me and then you lost me.


Sir Knight Calculon I will now demonstrate the art of the death scene! Titanius, come to me with that sword!

Titanius Anglesmith What, this sword? En garde, you villainous loser!

Sir Knight Calculon Alas, you need not stab me, for I have drunk a vial of poison to end my sorrows at the loss of my one true love. Arrggghhh!

Sir Knight Calculon And...scene! Just like that! I have disarmed both my onstage foe and the audience in one take!

Titanius Anglesmith Whatever you say, chief.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon performs a one man show.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 750 Nixonbucks 400 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Sir Knight Calculon There is no reason to share the spotlight when I can single-handedly deliver everything my audience needs.

Leegola Does that mean you're disbanding the theatre troop?

Sir Knight Calculon You will all develop amnesia, a crucial plot point of all the most acclaimed shows.

Leegola If you're looking for acclaim, you'd better give the audience amnesia too.


Sir Knight Calculon And so, my grateful fans of Cornwood, I do hereby thank you for your admiration.

Sir Knight Calculon You were afraid of me! You were in love with me! You died with me!

Sir Knight Calculon And now, I take my final blow and leave you to your normal boring loves and lives. Farewell, good fans!

Sir Knight Calculon Is anyone out there?