Blessed Are the Poorbots
An Xmas Xarol
Blessed Are the Poorbots is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the personal goal of Tinny Tim, a premium character available during the event An Xmas Xarol.
Tinny Tim dances for money.
5 50 Kind sir, could I trouble you for a dollar?
Sorry, I spent my last dollar on a bag of chips.
Then might I trouble you for your bottom-of-the-bag chip powder? In return I'd be happy to degrade myself by dancing for you.
Now now, there's no shame in entertaining someone in exchange for food.
There is if it's you, sir.
You sure scarfed down that chip residue. I just wish I had something else to give you.
As it happens, the chill of winter goes hard on my roberculosis. Your jacket might help to keep it away...
You can't have this jacket! It's part of who I am! I only have two or three left!
Far be it from me to deprive you of your rumpled polyester identity, sir.
Tinny Tim works a job.
5 75 Good day, ma'am. Might I interest you in a day-old newspaper? Much of the information is still valid.
Oh, you poor thing! I'll take all you've got!
Acutally, I'll need to keep one or two for use as a park-bench blanket.
Oh no you won't. Not as long as I've got a trust fund and a private financial advisor. I'm going to buy you a shiny new blanket for your park bench!
Your empathy is most impressive in both its intensity and its misguidedness.
Extra! Extra! read all about it! Record number of homeless on the streets during the holidays.
That's terrible! I'll do whatever I can to help.
The first step is to go home and find out more about the situation on a continuously-updated news website that I don't have to pay for.
Bless you, Mr. Conrad, for that hearty dose of holiday irony.
Tinny Tim receives a gift.
5 100 Ho ho ho! Merry Xmas, sad little poor boy!
Oh goody! Will I be receiving a gift from you this year, Santa Bender?
It depends. Have you done anything nice this year?
I once fetched you a carton of cigarettes when you were too tired to walk to the liquor store.
Your generosity shall be paid back tenfold. Please take this half-empty carton of smokes as your present.
Beg pardon for interrupting your drinking, Santa Bender, but there was no present in the box you gave me.
Huh. What did you ask for?
Naught but a can of robot oil for my Xmas dinner.
Oh, I tossed the canned goods before I started. If you'd ever had to haul that gift sack around, you'd know cans are every Santa's nightmare.