Kentucky Fried Justice

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Kentucky Fried Justice
Goal Hyper-Chicken.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal

Kentucky Fried Justice is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the personal character goal of Hyper-Chicken and unlocks upon purchase of him.


Part 1

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken ups his lawyer game.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Hyper-chicken In conclusion, Your Honor, the evidence vaguely suggests my client is innocent of at least some of these charges. If you squint at it.

The Professor That closing argument was terrible, Hyperchicken! Lucky for you I'm a professor, not a judge, and this is a kitchen, not a courtroom. And the Jurors--

Hyper-chicken Oh dear Lord! I've been addressin' a jury of eleven secret herbs and spices!


Hyper-chicken Well, I lost my case. But I won't let 35 losses in a row get me down. I'm gonna dedicate myself to becomin' a better lawyer!

Amy That's the spirit! I'm sure if you go back to law school and brush up a little--

Hyper-chicken I-say-I-say-WHAT? There's schools for lawyers?!


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken dusts himself off.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Hyper-chicken I spent all night studyin' and now I know the law like the back of my wing. Go on, ask me anythin'.

Fry Okay. What does "civil procedure" mean?

Hyper-chicken Objection, Your Honor! Irrelevant! I move for immediate dismissal of all charges against my client!

Hyper-chicken I mostly been studyin' courtroom antics.


Hyper-chicken How do you think my cross-examination went?

Amy Pretty well, until you stopped questioning the witness and started preening. What happened?

Hyper-chicken I couldn't let the prosecution see they'd ruffled my feathers, could I?


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken looks for clients.

Objectives

  • Have Hyper-Chicken Offer Representation (4h 0m 0s)
  • Have Fry Get Electrified (0h 15m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Hyper-chicken I say, young man, you look like you could use the services of a full-fledged lawyer.

Fry Why would I need a lawyer?

Hyper-chicken I'm sorry, I just assumed that a man of your obvious intellect must've been sold the Brooklyn Bridge several times.

Fry Nope. Just once. And Bender promised the deed's in the mail.


Hyper-chickenI don't understand why I'm havin' so much trouble attractin' new clients.

FryProbably because nobody wants to be represented by a bird.

Hyper-chickenThat can't be it. Atticus Finch has all the clients he can handle.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken works on his negotiation.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Hyper-chickenI got some plea deals to negotiate. Got any advice for me?

FryWell, it's probably a bad idea to open by admitting your client is guilty.

Hyper-chickenHmm... There's a Kentucky kernel of truth in what you say. But ever'body knows I only represent guilty clients. It says so on my business card.

FryYeah, I'd also suggest you not show that card to the prosecutors.


Hyper-chickenNow that's what I call a job well done! I negotiated my client's sentence from a six-piece bucket o' months to a two-year grilled combo special!

The ProfessorIf I understand you correctly, you quadrupled your client's sentence.

Hyper-chickenA two-year sentence PLUS a complimentary electrocution. That's what makes it a grilled combo special!


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken aims to win by any means.

Objectives

  • Have Hyper-Chicken Misrepresent his client (8h 0m 0s)
  • Have Amy Hang out with bad boys (4h 0m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

AmyHyper-Chicken, you've got a trial in the morning. Shouldn't you be preparing?

Hyper-chickenDon't need to, Amy. I'm guaranteed to win! You see, I'm representin' both parties!

AmyI'm no lawyer, but isn't that a conflict of interest?

Hyper-chickenMy main interest is in winnin' so where's the conflict?


The Professor [missing, fill in]

Hyper-chickenNo, the charge is obstruction of the HALL of Justice, by parking on its lawn. I'm looking at a fine of 35 to 50 dollars.

Hyper-chickenSo I've already reduced the charges! No need to thank me. In lieu of my usual fee. I'll settle for a handful of grain.


Part 6

Description[edit source]

Hyper-Chicken settles for himself.

Objectives

  • Have Hyper-Chicken Settle out of court (1d 0h 0m 0s)
  • Have Amy Get ripped off (8h 0m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Hyper-chickenI reckon I better face facts. I'm never gonna fulfill my dream of appearin' before the Supreme Court.

AmyNever say never, Hyper-Chicken! Someday you might be the defendant in a federal legal malpractice case!

Hyper-chickenNo, Amy, I'll be happen even if it's just a state malpractice case.


FrySo you're okay with being just an okay lawyer?

Hyper-chickenWell, boy, like my daddy always said, a man's gotta know when to settle.

Hyper-chickenI'll never forget what he told me on his deathbed...

Hyper-chicken"Help, son! They're dippin' me in batter!

See Also[edit | edit source]