Nerd Empire

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Nerd Empire
Goal Chris Hardwick.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
An Auditory Adventure

Nerd Empire is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1

Description[edit source]

Chris Hardwick and Scruffy share a moment.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 9 D-Waste File 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Scruffy You a janitor?

Chris Hardwick No, I'm a game show host and a comedian, among other things.

Scruffy Carry on then.

Chris Hardwick Would you happen to have a porn stash to pass the time?

Scruffy You SURE you're not a janitor?


Chris Hardwick Thanks for the reading material. I can see you're a serious collector of porn.

Scruffy Mm-hmm. Spent a lifetime cultivating a delicate appreciation for hot dirty raunch.

Chris Hardwick You know, the nerd community and the janitor community might finally be able to find some common ground here.

Scruffy No sir. Whatever our views on porn, we're too far apart on tax reform and immigration issues to ever work together.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Chris Hardwick invites Fry to his game show.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 9 D-Waste File 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Chris Hardwick Hey you! Wanna join my new game show?

Fry What's it about?

Chris Hardwick A show where the contestants out-pun each other. Are you game?

Fry Sure, but just so you know. I "play" to "win".

Chris Hardwick Quotations marks don't make something a pun.


Chris Hardwick The studio scrapped the game show idea. I'm afraid you won't get to be a TV star.

Fry Aw, man. But I spent all this time preparing!

Chris Hardwick Yeah, well, I spent six years of my life trying to get this show off the ground, so I'm kind of disappointed too.

Fry Let's team up to take revenge on the studio using a combination of overwhelming firepower and expert tactical know-how!

Fry I have some nunchuks I know how to hold, so if you're a retired CIA agent or something, we're all set.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Chris Hardwick one-ups the Professor.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 9 D-Waste File 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

The Professor You call yourself a nerd, Mr. Hardwick, but you don't seem so nerdy to me.

The Professor I doubt you've ever collected anything, or even once played a board game. And remind me -- what kind of women is it you're known for dating?

The Professor Oh, now I remember -- beautiful ones! You sir, are a nerdfraud!

Chris Hardwick You leave me no choice. Prepare to behold an unparalleled display of hard-core nerdiness!

The Professor I doubt I'll behold anything of the sort... because unlike you, I have incredibly thick glasses!


The Professor You win, Hardwick. It seems you are the bigger nerd.

Chris Hardwick I take that as a compliment.

The Professor I meant it as a compliment. If I could lift you up, I'd give you the ceremonial swirly.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Chris Hardwick invites Amy to his podcast.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 9 D-Waste File 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Amy What's wrong, Chris?

Chris Hardwick My guest just cancelled on my podcast. Do you think you could fill in?

Amy I suppose I could talk about my physics research... unless that's too boring?

Chris Hardwick Are you kidding? My nerdy listeners love that stuff! Plus they're fascinated by pretty much anything being said by a woman.


Bender I know you! You're the king of nerds!

Chris Hardwick Some would say that. They'd be right.

Bender I don't know whether to bully you or worship you.

Bender Maybe my bullying could be considered a form of worship. Let's give it a try.


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Bender invites himself to Chris Hardwick's podcast.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 9 D-Waste File 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Bender Why didn't you ask me to be on your podcast?

Chris Hardwick I'm sorry, Bender. I didn't know you were interested.

Bender Well, it's too late now.

Chris Hardwick No it isn't. I could still invite you.

Bender No, I mean it's too late because I already invited myself.


Chris Hardwick Okay, fine, I'll have you on the show. Try to plan something interesting to talk about, okay?

Bender I've got a couple of topics prepped. A: Bender's perfect face. B: Bender's childhood. C: Bender's success with women.

Chris Hardwick Actually, my podcast is mostly about what it means to be a nerd.

Bender D: Who are you going to book on your podcast now that I've cancelled?

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