Nuclear Proportions

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Nuclear Proportions
250x250px
Details
Story type
Main Goal
Event
The Zapp Brannigan Event
Act
2
Previous Goal
A Tariffic War
Next Side Goals:
New Recruit
Beware of Sharks
Automated Kill


Nuclear Proportions is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the second main goal of the The Zapp Brannigan Event.

Story[edit | edit source]

Part 1

Description[edit source]

Zapp is losing the war.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Leela Zapp, whatever it is you keep calling a battle plan isn't working. You can't keep losing soldiers at this rate.

Zapp Can't we just replace them with new ones?

Leela Every able-bodied Earthican's already in uniform!

Zapp Then it's time for a plan I call "Operation Repopulate Earth". It's gonna take a few Red Bulls, but I'm up for the task. Shall we get started?


Admiral Chu Surrender, Captain Brannigan. The DOOP is on its last legs.

Zapp Surrendering is not in my DNA.

Admiral Chu Yes, your DNA appears to be composed mostly of fleeing from the battlefield.

Zapp Did those bastards at 23andMe leak my report?


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Amy breaks up with Kif.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Amy I'm breaking up with you, Kif. I can't just sit around waiting until the war is over for our next date.

Kif But what about everything we built together?

Amy I'm taking our Lego sets with me too.


Kif This stupid war you started is ruining my life, sir! My girlfriend just broke up with me!

Zapp Chin up. She'll come back to you in no time.

Kif No, she won't. She can have any man she wants.

Zapp Any man she wants, eh? Well, the good news is, most of them are dead.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Morbo and Linda give an update.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Morbo According to recent reports, the Carcaron-Trisol Alliance is inflicting heavy losses on the DOOP and its allies.

Linda van schoonhoven: Well, Morbo, it sure sounds like Earth is doomed!

Morbo THAT IS MY CATCHPHRASE, NOT YOURS!

Linda van schoonhoven: Journalistic norms went out the window the moment you started asking politicians about their pets, Morbo.


Morbo Zapp Brannigan is reportedly in talks with possible allies to aid the DOOP war effort.

Linda van schoonhoven: That's quite a long shot, Morbo. He's already alienated every possible ally with his import tariffs.

Morbo APPARENTLY HE IS USING HIS SEXUALITY AS A BARGAINING CHIP!

Linda van schoonhoven: Take it from me, that's one weak bargaining chip.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Admiral Chu allies with Nylar 4.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Admiral Chu Thank you for meeting with me Ambassador. An alliance between Carcaron and Nylar 4 will be an advantageous one.

Nylar 4 Ambassador Meeessswepepwmeespsope eeeeeewwww.

Admiral Chu With us as allies, no one will turn your people into sweaters, I promise.

Admiral Chu But just out of curiosity -- how much do you suppose a Nylar sweater would go for?


Florp Listen, Chu, this alliance thing's working out great but when can I perform in front of the troops?

Admiral Chu We don't have time for such nonsense.

Florp That was part of the deal! Trisol provides amphibious forces in exchange for me getting to do my set in front of a big new audience!

Florp I've got a new ten minute set on army food.

Florp It's really just my old ten minute set on airline food with the words changed, but you Carcarons haven't heard it.


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Zapp blames Kif.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Zapp We're being humiliated out there, Kif, and it's all your fault. If only you had talked me out of my import tarrifs, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Kif I tried, but you were under the influence.

Zapp Kif, I specifically gave you the authority to overrule me in case I had too much to drink.

Kif I meant the influence of your ego, sir.


Zapp Kif, fetch me the hypernuclear button.

Kif Captain, you can't go hypernuclear. The other planets will launch counter-hypernukes as soon as you press that button.

Zapp Good. If I can't win this war, no one should!

Kif Sir, please don't confuse your dating strategy and your military strategy.


Part 6

Description[edit source]

Kif tries to calm down Zapp.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Kif If you launch hypernuclear weapons, it'll mean the end of the universe as we know it.

Zapp It's all part of my plan.

Kif Your plan is to get everybody killed?

Zapp Everybody but me. That's straight out of the DOOP playbook.

Zapp I'm its primary credited author.


Zapp There's no hope of ending this war through diplomacy, Kif. Admiral Chu is not a reasonable shark.

Kif He seemed quite reasonable when I spoke with him privately yesterday.

Zapp You've been conducting secret back-channel talks with the enemy? Kif, how could you?

Zapp You know that's a job I only trust to my close relatives or their spouses.


Part 7

Description[edit source]

Kif calls for peace.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Kif Thank you for meeting with me, Admiral. I hope we can find a way to de-escalate this war.

Admiral Chu Remove all tariffs and we'll consider the war over.

Kif Done! And to establish good faith, I volunteer Captain Brannigan for a public shaming parade as atonement.

Admiral Chu You, my friend, are going to win a Nobel Peace Prize one day.


Zapp You sold me out, Kif?

Kif It was all in the name of peace, sir.

Zapp But I'm forced to walk the streets while everyone throws produce at me...

Zapp ...without any erotic undertones.


Part 8

Description[edit source]

Kif and Amy go on a date, finally.

Objectives

  • Have Kif and Amy Finally Go On a Date ()
  • Recruit Linda

Rewards[edit source]

  • 100 DOOP Supplies 500 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Amy I'm so proud of you for ending the war, Kiffy. Now we can finally go on that dinner date! And let's never fight again.

Kif That's wonderful. I have reservations at this new Mediterranean restaurant--

Amy Mediterranean? You know I hate having Mediterranean food right when we're getting back together!

Kif [SIGH]


Zapp I'm sorry I dragged you and your friends into an ill-considered war, Leela.

Leela Wow, I've never heard you apologize before.

Zapp Well, the Zapper has turned over a new leaf. This leaf is soft and vulnerable and puts her pleasure first. I read that in Cosmo.

Leela Ah, I noticed my issue was missing.

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