Slacktivism

From Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
Slacktivism
Goal Free Waterfall Jr.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Lrrr Strikes Back


Part 1

Description[edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr. comes back to life.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

The Professor Whuh?!! Aren't you Free Waterfall Jr., the annoying hippie? I thought you died years ago, when Lrrr ate you on TV!

Free Waterfall Jr Right on, old man. Lemme tell you, the afterlife sucks. Everything's perfect, so there's nothing to march around and protest about.

The Professor But how could you possibly be alive again? This calls for some research!

Free Waterfall Jr Research? Look, I'm as curious as you are, but if your research is funded by military money, I'm gonna need some posterboard, a stick, and a nice clear marching area.

Free Waterfall Jr It's good to be back.


The Professor I figured out why you're alive! The Hypnowave catastrophe seems to have caused a rift in the boundary between life and death -- just large enough for you to squeeze through!

The Professor You're like a filth-encrusted Jesus!

Free Waterfall Jr Freaky! It's like a sign the universe still needs me to cure all its problems!

The Professor I really think it's more of an accidental--

Free Waterfall Jr Hang tight, universe! I'm rededicating myself to saving you through non-stop, socially conscious mindfulness!


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr. does some yoga.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr I'm on a week-long crusade to reform everything. Step one: free your mind and the rest will follow. So I'm declaring a giant universe-wide yoga pose-a-thon.

Amy I'm in, but that still leaves several trillion other sentient beings. How are you planning to get them to pose?

Free Waterfall Jr Wtih peaceful, loving power of continuous megaphone-assisted badgering.


URL I'm'a have to shut your little yoga party down, hippie.

Free Waterfall Jr Fuzz off, fuzz! I got a permit to hold an outdoor assembly.

URL Yeah, but you're also running an unlicensed yoga studio. That's a class-five misdemeanor.

URL Class-five refers to the number of beatings I'm allowed to administer. Aw yeah.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr. smokes in protest.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr Violence is not the answer, pig. Come on, join me in celebrating peace and love by lighting up in public.

URL I'd like to, man, but I'm on duty.

Free Waterfall Jr The stuff I'm proposing we light up is not illegal in this jurisdiction.

URL Yeah, but I got work to do. Department issued me ten confessions, and if I don't find people to sign 'em by five o'clock, they gonna suspend my break room privileges.


URL Shift's almost over and I got two confessions left. Help an officer out by copping to burglary, my scummy hippie brother?

Free Waterfall Jr What are you gonna do, pug? Beat me 'til I sign?

URL Naw, man, I plan to keep beating you for awhile after that.

Free Waterfall Jr Aren't you forgetting that cop camera on your visor?

URL That ain't official, that's my personal camera. So I can relive my beatings after hours at home. Aw yeah.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr. goes against the police.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr End fuzz brutality! Dismantle the police state now!

Bender Nobody wants fewer police than I do, but I just don't care enough to chant along with you.

Free Waterfall Jr Hey, man, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Bender That's exactly where I want to be.


Free Waterfall Jr Hey, man, are you sick and tired of police brutality? If you are, please sign my petition.

Scruffy We need MORE police brutality. Planet's under attack from undocumented immigrant gang monsters. Can't hardly go out at night without gettin' murdered two or three times.

Free Waterfall Jr Really? That's terrible!... Do you have any evidence for that?

Scruffy Mm-hm. Gut instinct and provably false campaign speeches.


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Free Waterfall Jr. does not eat meat.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Free Waterfall Jr No more experiments! No more cages! Meat is murder!

Bender As a mighty robot, I don't need to eat meat.

Free Waterfall Jr Right on, Bender! Vegans forever!

Bender Yeah, I only do it 'cause it's fun.


Free Waterfall Jr No more experiments! No more cages! Meat is murder!

The Professor Perhaps so, but in my experience vegetables are suicide. Say, weren't you planning to reform the universe in a week, starting a week ago?

Free Waterfall Jr I know, man! I've been browbeating strangers for days and I haven't improved the universe even slightly! [SNIFF] I'm a complete failure!

The Professor Now now, stop blubbering, you complete failure... Look, you keep handing out those xeroxes and I'll go home and free my lab monkey Harold, all right?

Free Waterfall Jr Not good enough! Eat some flax seeds too!

See also[edit | edit source]