StarJar

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StarJar
Goal NDT.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
The George Takei Experience

StarJar is the personal goal of Neil deGrasse Tyson, a premium character available during The George Takei Experience special event.


Part 1

Description[edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson begins his research.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 200 Nixonbucks 150 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Fry Neil deGrasse Tyson? What are you doing here?

Neil deGrasse Tyson I'm researching the Hypnowaves on behalf of my institution, the Hayden Planetarium.

Fry Did you say you were in an institution with Hayden Panettiere? She's my favorite actress! I've been waiting ten years to use that. And it was worth it.


Neil deGrasse Tyson Sorry about the aerobatics. My thrusters started malfunctioning.

Fry Whoo! That's what SHE said!

Neil deGrasse Tyson After I finish my Hypnowave research, I'm going to investigate how anybody can put up with you.

Fry Good luck!


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson uses science.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 200 Nixonbucks 150 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

The Professor Good luck analyzing the Hypnowaves, Tyson. I've gotten nowhere, but maybe a "science communicator" will have better luck.

Neil deGrasse Tyson I've published over a dozen significant papers in astrophysics. What have you accomplished?

The Professor I invented a device that lets you smell faraway things and an extremely long finger! I wish I was dead.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Probably will be soon.


Neil deGrasse Tyson It's apparent that the Hypnowaves are highly unstable.

The Professor Did you figure that out yourself, Einstein?

Neil deGrasse Tyson No, you kept shouting it in my ear.

The Professor Just making sure we all know whose name appears first on the paper.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson expands his search.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 200 Nixonbucks 150 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson I suspect the hypnowaves can be neutralized by passing them through curved space. I'll need some kind of immensely powerful bending apparatus.

Bender I'm some kind of immensely powerful bending apparatus. I once bent an entire prison.

Neil deGrasse Tyson With those arms? They look like spaghetti strands.

Bender You don't have a lot of friends, do you, Tyson?


Neil deGrasse Tyson I've scanned our whole solar system for Hypnowaves.

Bender What did you find?

Neil deGrasse Tyson The Hypnowaves have spread like a nasty digitally-transmitted robot virus.

Bender Spare me the lecture about setting up a secure firewall. Those things take away all the pleasure.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson practices a hobby.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 200 Nixonbucks 150 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson I'm off to look for vintage telescopes. It's a nerdy hobby of mine.

Amy How did you ever become heavyweight champion of the world?

Neil deGrasse Tyson You're thinking of MIKE Tyson.

Amy Wow, a boxer AND a mindreader. I'm impressed.


Neil deGrasse Tyson I couldn't find any telescopes that fit my personality.

Amy You need a new hobby. maybe you could take tennis lessons.

Neil deGrasse Tyson I have no limbs! Maybe you could take a sensitivity training course. Or an eye test.

Amy I'm not impressed any more.


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson looks to the stars.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 200 Nixonbucks 150 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Neil deGrasse Tyson To complete my research, I'll need access to a roof.

Bender My favorite crime is "breaking and accessing." But what do I get for my trouble?

Neil deGrasse Tyson If you carry me to the roof, I'll put your name on the study.

Bender The Bender Report: Why He's Great and Maybe Some Other Stuff. I like the sound of that.


Neil deGrasse Tyson I have concluded that the Hypnowaves are entirely man-made. Wait a minute. I meant to say "toad-made." Sometimes my little claws write whatever they want.

Bender Smooth move, Tyson. Whenever anything goes wrong, blame it on your robot hands. That's what I do. I call it "pleading handsanity."

See also[edit | edit source]