The Dwayne of Your Existence

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The Dwayne of Your Existence
Icon Character Mutant Dwayne.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Lrrr Strikes Back
Previous Goal
Surface Tension

The Dwayne of Your Existence is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

Part 1

Description[edit source]

Mutant Dwayne sings a song.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Bender Hey, Dwayne, what brings your big head to New New York?

Mutant Dwayne Invasion anxiety, Bender. I wish I could help fight, but I'm a man of peace. So I wrote a song to protest the Omicronians.

Bender Um, Dwayne? This is a textbook "part of the solution / part of the problem" situation.


Mutant Dwayne I know protest music doesn't usually do much good, but at least people appreciate the effort.

Bender Has anyone explicitly told you that?

Mutant Dwayne No.

Mutant Dwayne I would listen to all of them.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Mutant Dwayne tries to reinvent himself.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Mutant Dwayne I can't believe I waste my whole life writing folksongs and teaching high school.

Amy Look, I'm the Professsor's Teaching Assistant, and I know teaching isn't always glamorous, but it's important work.

Mutant Dwayne Yeah, well, I bet college physics students don't throw tomatoes at your misshapen head!

Amy I admit they always aim for the Professor, but they do sometimes miss.


Mutant Dwayne I'm afraid a new hat won't change anything. I've decided to become a soldier and join the resistance.

Amy I applaud your ambition.

Amy But I'd start by getting fitted for a good custom helmet.

Amy With any luck, it won't be finished until the invasion is over!


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Mutant Dwayne offers assistance.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 50 Weed 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Mutant Dwayne Professor, I want to help you fight back against the Omicronian invasion.

The Professor I suppose two heads are better than one.

Mutant Dwayne Nice reference to my big head, Professor.

The Professor Oh, no, I was proposing we graft my head onto your powerful young body and become a two-headed genius-level killing machine.


The Professor I've run some blood tests, Dwayne, and I'm afraid the two-headed transplant is off.

The Professor It appears your mutated immune system would reject my head!

The Professor Unless you'd like to put YOUR head on MY body?...

Mutant Dwayne Absolutely not!... But check back with me when the war is over.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Mutant Dwayne asks the big questions.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

Story[edit | edit source]

Mutant Dwayne What if the Omicronians never leave? What if this is the way things are from now on?

Bachelor Fry Look, if it comes to that, you should just learn to live with it.

Mutant Dwayne Just learn to live with it? JUST LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT?

Mutant Dwayne Why didn't I think of that?


Mutant Dwayne I've finally conquered the existential anxiety that's been plaguing me.

Bachelor Fry Great work, Dwayne!

Bachelor Fry I don't know what most of those words mean, but my takeaway is that somehow you've singlehandedly defeated the Omicronians!

See also[edit | edit source]