The Trickiest Dick

From Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
The Trickiest Dick
Icon Character Nixon.png
Details
Story type
Character Goal
Event
Independence Day Weekend


The Trickiest Dick is the character goal of Nixon and Agnew. They were available for purchase shortly after Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow began, during the Independence Day Weekend event.


Part 1

Description[edit source]

Nixon tries to clear his name.

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Give Speech ()

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Nixon Agnew Professor, Headless Agnew and I are on a mission to restore my reputation. Can you help?

The Professor I don't see how. You're the second most corrupt person to occupy the presidency.

Nixon Agnew Second? That's already an improvement! Who knocked me out of the top spot?

The Professor Excellent question. Nobody can even remember his name anymore.


Nixon AgnewI just checked my poll numbers. My popularity has increased by ten points.

The ProfessorThat sounds like GOOD NEWS! What's it at?

Nixon AgnewTen percent.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Nixon destroys evidence.

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Shred Documents ()

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Nixon AgnewIf I'm going to clear my name, I'll need to destroy some evidence. Can you help, Scruffy?

ScruffyDon't particularly care for you personally, Nixon, but you did open up China, so okay.

Nixon AgnewGood man. Tell you what -- I'll appoint you ambassador to anywhere you like.

ScruffyI choose the planet of them Green Dancing Girls. Mm-hmm.


Nixon AgnewThank to you, I've gotten rid of all physical evidence that paints me as a crook.

ScruffyWhat about everything on the internet?

Nixon AgnewDammit! I hadn't thought of that. You can't shred the entire internet!

ScruffySure you can. You just need to appoint the right FCC Chairman.


Part 3

Description[edit source]

Nixon is accused.

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Deny Being a Crook ()
  • Have Fry Eat Spontaneous Breakfast (0h 1m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

FryMr. President, everyone's saying you destroyed all the evidence of your crimes. Is that true?

Nixon Agnew Ridiculous! There's no evidence I've destroyed any evidence! Right?

FryBut... Ow! Head hurt!... but there's no evidence you HAVEN'T destroyed all the evidence, either!

Nixon AgnewGood point. I'll manufacture some evidence that I haven't destroyed any evidence. That should satisfy you!


FrySorry, Mr. President, I should've known you're not a crook. It says so right there on your burglar's mask.

Nixon AgnewAnd for your honest gullibility, I've decided not to involve you any further in my shenanigans.

FrySo you won't have Philip Fry to kick around any more?

Nixon AgnewArrooo! That's my line!


Part 4

Description[edit source]

Nixon appeals to voters.

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Have a Beer or Three ()
  • Have Amy Hang Out with Bad Boys (4h 0m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Nixon AgnewMiss, can I count on your vote when I inevitably run for reelection?

AmyI'm young, so obviously, I don't vote. I'm too rich to vote. I make my political opinions heard through dark money campaign contributions.

Nixon AgnewWhat would it take for you to consider helping out the campaign of an old unindicted co-conspirator?

AmyNot much. How about Ambassador to Mars?


Nixon AgnewThat's for the donation. Funny, you don't look martian.

AmyBecause you don't see a little green man?

Nixon AgnewNo, because I don't see the big green checkbook.


Part 5

Description[edit source]

Nixon makes an apology.

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Flash Peace Signs ()
  • Have Bender Instigate a Bar Fight (1h 0m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

BenderRemember me? I'm the robot whose body you stole to win that election.

Nixon AgnewBah! That robot body didn't get me a single additional vote.

BenderNo way. I know at least six voting machines it had its way with.

Nixon AgnewLet's start over. I'm sorry for stealing your worthless body.


Nixon AgnewThat's the worst apology I've ever heard. Try again!

BenderOh, alright. Er... pardon me.

Nixon AgnewWhat do I look like, Gerald Ford?


Part 6

Description[edit source]

Nixon deals with the authorities

Objectives

  • Have Nixon Enjoy Feeding Time ()
  • Have URL Get Oiled Up (6h 0m 0s)

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

URLDid I just see you breaking and entering a particular premises, Mr. President?

Nixon AgnewIt's not illegal when the president does it.

URLI believe that particular statement is false...

Nixon AgnewIt's not false when the president says it. I can keep going if you'd like...


URLBecause your reputation is secure, I'm going to let you off with a warning.

Nixon AgnewDid you say my reputation was secure in spite of my slipping you a hundred Nixonbucks.

URLNo, I said your reputation was secure BECAUSE you slipped me a hundred Nixonbucks. Aw yeah.

See Also[edit | edit source]