Western Ways

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Western Ways
Goal The Borax Kid.png
Details
Story type
Event Character Goal
Character
The Borax Kid
Event
Quick Draw
Previous Goal
City Life

Western Ways is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow during the Quick Draw event. It is the character goal of The Borax Kid.

Part 1

Description[edit source]

The Borax Kid finds a friendly card game.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Borax Kid Pardon me, Miss, but I'm new in town and I'm looking for a lovely lady like yourself to show a suave gambler like me the sights.

Amy That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!

Borax Kid [...]

Borax Kid Then could I interest you in a friendly game of poker?

Amy Sure!


Borax Kid Well, Miss, I'm afraid I'll have to call it a night. You've won all my money and my mint julep.

Amy Come back anytime, Kid.

Borax Kid Oh, I'll be back -- just as soon as I raise another stake and learn your local poker rules.

Amy Just remember, in Earth poker there's no such hand as a Borax flush.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

The Borax Kid makes detergent.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Borax Kid I need to work up a poker stake, and I'm told you might have an opening for an assistant.

Scruffy Mm-hm. Got some terlets that need cleaning. You know what a Borax flush is?

Borax Kid I think I'm going to like it here.


Borax Kid Seems the phrase "Borax flush" has a couple different meanings on your planet.

Scruffy Mm-hm. Did I just see you makin' your own detergent?

Borax Kid Yes sir. I'm composed of pure crystalline borate.

Scruffy Hydrated or anhydrous?

Borax Kid Hydrated. Ten molecules of water for every molecule of borate.

Scruffy Take your money and go!


Part 3

Description[edit source]

The Borax Kid requests a rematch.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 150 Nixonbucks 100 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Borax Kid Howdy, Miss Wong. I'm back for a rematch, and perhaps a quick snuggle.

Amy I do admit you've got a roguish charm. If you're thinking about a quick roll in the hay--

Borax Kid I'm not that kind of rogue! I was just proposin' we sit on the sofa in your parlor and hold hands.

Borax Kid And then, of course, play a friendly game of poker.


Borax Kid Appears you cleaned me out again. I'm beginning to think you're a lowdown cheatin' polecat, Miss Wong.

Amy Well, my dad owns a casino on Mars and I have a Masters' in applied math. So I'm pretty familiar with the law of averages.

Borax Kid The law of what now?

Amy The law of averages. Federal Code Section 1788, paragraph B.


Part 4

Description[edit source]

The Borax Kid misses home.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 300 Nixonbucks 200 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Borax Kid I'm starting to feel a mite lonesome for Boronburg. Back on the Moon we don't have the law of averages.

Borax Kid Come to think of it, we don't have any law at all.

Fry Well, don't give up on Earth yet. If you're homesick for lawlessness and gunfights, let's take a trip to Jersey.


Fry So how did you like New Jersey? Did it make you forget about Boronburg?

Borax Kid Thanks kindly for trying, Mr. Fry, but New Jersey's no place for a man like me.

Borax Kid I belong back in my little mining town on the Moon, where the sky is big and airless and there's nothing but vast chemical-rich desert as far as you can see.

Fry And yet you say New Jersey's no place for a man like you?

See More[edit | edit source]