You're a Mean One, Robot Santa is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the main goal in the event An Xmas Xarol, Act 2.
- Fry opens a portal.
- Have Amy Deck the Halls (6s)
- Learn All About the Big Update!
- Go on the Cold Welcome Mission
- 5 50
Hey, Professor, I just saw some kind of weird space portal in Central Park. You're into that kind of thing, right?
Oh, that's just one of my universe-connecting paraboxes. I needed to wrap the new hip I'm giving myself for Xmas and grabbed it by mistake.
Luckily I caught my error and hurled the parabox out the window. If I'd stuck something into another universe without warning... the very thought makes me shudder!
Uh-oh. I thought there might be honey inside, so I stuck my head into it! Serveral times!
Can you see what I'm doing now? It's called shuddering.
Nice one, Fry! According to my transpatial war-ometer, your little stunt has caused an interuniversal conflict of unprecedented proportions!
Again? Also, how? And a small amount of what?
When you stuck your head in and out of that portal, the alternate universes on the other side took it as a sign of aggression!
It works on the same principle as getting in the face of an angry drunk guy.
- Robot Santa passes judgment.
- 5 50
Philip J. Fry, you've provoked multiple universes to declare war on ours. I judge you to be VERY NAUGHTY!
At least you're not mad about our plans to attack your base on Neptune.
I didn't know about that! I'm upgrading your naughtiness ranking from VERY NAUGHTY to VERY NAUGHTY INDEED!
Not even Hitler got the "INDEED"!
Bad news, Professor. Fry accidentally told Robot Santa about our plans to attack his fortress.
That's it. Fry must die. But first, if I know Santa, he's going to unleash his enforcers, the Holiday Cheermongers. We'll have to take them down before attacking Santa himself.
Holiday Cheermonger, eh? They don't sound so scary.
Names mean nothing. The 1001st Airborne was nicknamed the "Plummeting Teddy Bears", and they still committed more war crimes than any unit in history.
- Amy puts on her power suit.
- 5 75
Amy, I've built you a special power suit to help you battle Robot Santa's forces.
Is this the same kind of "power suit" that high-level business executives wear?
No, yours has fewer built-in weapons and less boxy-looking lapels.
This suit is glamazing! Thanks, Professor.
Just be careful with that suiped-up partyboard. It's not street-legal in this galaxy.
Also, I stashed my illegal drugs inside it.
That wasn't very considerate, Professor. Where am I supposed to stash MY illegal drugs?
- The crew ranks up.
- 5 50
The best way to take advantage of the suit's powers is to do what the Professor calls "increasing your rank".
I knew that! But just in case I didn't, how would an amateur go about increasing her rank?
Apparently by gaining Battle Points in battle. As an added plus, it humiliates your opponent.
Oh, so it's a lot like how I get presents after I argue with Kif and humiliate him.
Really? Whenever I argue with Kif, I get embarrassed and give him money.
Fighting all those alternate-universe jerks was worth it. I'm all ranked up!
This is the best Xmas ever -- even if we do suddenly have to fight those alternate universes AND Robot Santa at the same time.
Plus all the new info we have to learn about these power suits and ranking up and--
Quit complaining and get down to business! This is not a game!
- Fry starts to worry.
- 15 50
Santa Claus Bender:What's wrong, Fry?
Between fighting Robot Santa and those alternate universes, I won't have time to shop for gifts. How will we ever have a truly special Xmas?
Santa Claus Bender:But don't you see, buddy? All the strife, all the enemies -- they just make Xmas with our friends even MORE special!
Santa Claus Bender:They give us an excuse not to spend time and money on presents!
I'm taking your advice, Bender. I'm gonna stay positive and with the help of all my friends, I'm going to defeat all our enemies and save Xmas!
Santa Claus Bender:I don't recall saying any of that. And it doesn't sound like anything I believe, either.
Santa Claus Bender:But if it makes you feel better, then yes, I'll take credit for that noble holiday sentiment.
Santa Claus Bender:I'll actually take cash OR credit.
- Chanukah Zombie is released.
- 5 80
What are we supposed to do with Chanukah Zombie? He's technically our prisoner.
Planet Express takes no prisoners. I'll take care of the situation.
You're not going to execute him, are you?
Goodness, no! We take no prisoners because prison-maintenance expenses aren't tax-deductible. I'm going to set him free.
So the Professor set me free! It's like Pharoah and Undead Moses all over again!
Don't get cocky, Chanukah Zombie. Any attempt to eat my brain will be met with a stern talking-to.
Feh! I wouldn't eat your brain if you were the last living human on Earth! It smells like it's full of physics.
I knew getting my doctorate would pay off someday.
- The crew goes up against Turbo Neptunian.
- 5 75
You think you can defeat me by taking out my lieutenants? My Holiday Cheermongers will make quick work of you -- especially my Turbo Neptunian!
Turbo Neptunian, eh? Sounds cool and vicious.
Oh, he is. He once killed a guy just by talking trash about him.
He'll need to do more than talk to hurt me. Because the generator in this power suit makes so much noise, I can't hear anything.
You defeated Turbo Neptunian?! You'll pay for that! I'm going to rip your arms off and beat you with them.
What kind of coward beats an armless man to death during the holidays?
A Noel Coward!
Noel Coward (1899-1973) was an English playwright, composer, directer, actor and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what TIME magazine called "a sense of personal style, a combination of chic, pose, and poise"
- Fry thanks Amy.
- 5 100
Congratulations, everybody! We took down Turbo Neptunian as a team!
Don't celebrate yet. We still have to defeat Robot Santa's other goons.
Can't we just enjoy this victory?
Certainly not. I didn't get to be 170 years old by enjoying anything!
Thanks for the help, Amy. The team couldn't have gotten this far without you.
I want to thank you too, Fry. Except I can't, 'cause you're the one who opened up our universe to attack from other universes in the first place.
And you're also the one who blabbed to Robot Santa about our surprise attack plan.
I guess we're one of those teams that squabbles amongst itself but comes together when it's threatened by a common enemy.
Uh-huh. Right now you're the common enemy.
struggle to defeat a constant stream of enemies and collect arbitrary items I'm supposed to think have value.
What ever happened to the good old days, when I spent my time humiliating academic rivals and receiving honorary degrees?