You're a Mean One, Robot Santa

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You're a Mean One, Robot Santa
Icon Currency Santa Medal.png
Details
Story type
Main Goal
Event
An Xmas Xarol
Previous Goal
Holiday Fear
Next Goal
Who's Naughty or Naughty?
Next Side Goals:
Highly Skilled
Battle of the Universes

You're a Mean One, Robot Santa is one of the goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow. It is the main goal in the event An Xmas Xarol, Act 2.


Part 1

Description[edit source]

Fry opens a portal.

Objectives

  • Have Amy Deck the Halls (6s)
  • Learn All About the Big Update!
  • Go on the Cold Welcome Mission

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 50 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Power Suit FryHey, Professor, I just saw some kind of weird space portal in Central Park. You're into that kind of thing, right?

The ProfessorOh, that's just one of my universe-connecting paraboxes. I needed to wrap the new hip I'm giving myself for Xmas and grabbed it by mistake.

The ProfessorLuckily I caught my error and hurled the parabox out the window. If I'd stuck something into another universe without warning... the very thought makes me shudder!

Power Suit FryUh-oh. I thought there might be honey inside, so I stuck my head into it! Serveral times!

The ProfessorCan you see what I'm doing now? It's called shuddering.


The ProfessorNice one, Fry! According to my transpatial war-ometer, your little stunt has caused an interuniversal conflict of unprecedented proportions!

Power Suit FryAgain? Also, how? And a small amount of what?

The ProfessorWhen you stuck your head in and out of that portal, the alternate universes on the other side took it as a sign of aggression!

The ProfessorIt works on the same principle as getting in the face of an angry drunk guy.


Part 2

Description[edit source]

Robot Santa passes judgment.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 50 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Robot Santa ClausPhilip J. Fry, you've provoked multiple universes to declare war on ours. I judge you to be VERY NAUGHTY!

Power Suit FryAt least you're not mad about our plans to attack your base on Neptune.

Robot Santa ClausI didn't know about that! I'm upgrading your naughtiness ranking from VERY NAUGHTY to VERY NAUGHTY INDEED!

Robot Santa ClausNot even Hitler got the "INDEED"!


LeelaBad news, Professor. Fry accidentally told Robot Santa about our plans to attack his fortress.

The ProfessorThat's it. Fry must die. But first, if I know Santa, he's going to unleash his enforcers, the Holiday Cheermongers. We'll have to take them down before attacking Santa himself.

LeelaHoliday Cheermonger, eh? They don't sound so scary.

The ProfessorNames mean nothing. The 1001st Airborne was nicknamed the "Plummeting Teddy Bears", and they still committed more war crimes than any unit in history.

Part 3

Description[edit source]

Amy puts on her power suit.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

The ProfessorAmy, I've built you a special power suit to help you battle Robot Santa's forces.

AmyIs this the same kind of "power suit" that high-level business executives wear?

The ProfessorNo, yours has fewer built-in weapons and less boxy-looking lapels.

AmyPhew!


Power Suit AmyThis suit is glamazing! Thanks, Professor.

The ProfessorJust be careful with that suiped-up partyboard. It's not street-legal in this galaxy.

The ProfessorAlso, I stashed my illegal drugs inside it.

Power Suit AmyThat wasn't very considerate, Professor. Where am I supposed to stash MY illegal drugs?

Part 4

Description[edit source]

The crew ranks up.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 50 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Power Suit FryThe best way to take advantage of the suit's powers is to do what the Professor calls "increasing your rank".

Power Suit AmyI knew that! But just in case I didn't, how would an amateur go about increasing her rank?

Power Suit FryApparently by gaining Battle Points in battle. As an added plus, it humiliates your opponent.

Power Suit AmyOh, so it's a lot like how I get presents after I argue with Kif and humiliate him.

Power Suit FryReally? Whenever I argue with Kif, I get embarrassed and give him money.


Power Suit AmyFighting all those alternate-universe jerks was worth it. I'm all ranked up!

Power Suit AmyThis is the best Xmas ever -- even if we do suddenly have to fight those alternate universes AND Robot Santa at the same time.

Power Suit AmyPlus all the new info we have to learn about these power suits and ranking up and--

The ProfessorQuit complaining and get down to business! This is not a game!

Part 5

Description[edit source]

Fry starts to worry.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 15 Santa Medal 50 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Santa Claus Bender:What's wrong, Fry?

Power Suit FryBetween fighting Robot Santa and those alternate universes, I won't have time to shop for gifts. How will we ever have a truly special Xmas?

Santa Claus Bender:But don't you see, buddy? All the strife, all the enemies -- they just make Xmas with our friends even MORE special!

Santa Claus Bender:They give us an excuse not to spend time and money on presents!


Power Suit FryI'm taking your advice, Bender. I'm gonna stay positive and with the help of all my friends, I'm going to defeat all our enemies and save Xmas!

Santa Claus Bender:I don't recall saying any of that. And it doesn't sound like anything I believe, either.

Santa Claus Bender:But if it makes you feel better, then yes, I'll take credit for that noble holiday sentiment.

Santa Claus Bender:I'll actually take cash OR credit.

Part 6

Description[edit source]

Chanukah Zombie is released.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 80 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Power Suit AmyWhat are we supposed to do with Chanukah Zombie? He's technically our prisoner.

The ProfessorPlanet Express takes no prisoners. I'll take care of the situation.

Power Suit AmyYou're not going to execute him, are you?

The ProfessorGoodness, no! We take no prisoners because prison-maintenance expenses aren't tax-deductible. I'm going to set him free.


Chanukah ZombieSo the Professor set me free! It's like Pharoah and Undead Moses all over again!

Power Suit AmyDon't get cocky, Chanukah Zombie. Any attempt to eat my brain will be met with a stern talking-to.

Chanukah ZombieFeh! I wouldn't eat your brain if you were the last living human on Earth! It smells like it's full of physics.

Power Suit AmyI knew getting my doctorate would pay off someday.

Part 7

Description[edit source]

The crew goes up against Turbo Neptunian.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 75 XP

Story[edit | edit source]

Robot Santa ClausYou think you can defeat me by taking out my lieutenants? My Holiday Cheermongers will make quick work of you -- especially my Turbo Neptunian!

Power Suit FryTurbo Neptunian, eh? Sounds cool and vicious.

Robot Santa ClausOh, he is. He once killed a guy just by talking trash about him.

Power Suit FryHe'll need to do more than talk to hurt me. Because the generator in this power suit makes so much noise, I can't hear anything.


Robot Santa ClausYou defeated Turbo Neptunian?! You'll pay for that! I'm going to rip your arms off and beat you with them.

Power Suit FryWhat kind of coward beats an armless man to death during the holidays?

Robot Santa ClausA Noel Coward!

Power Suit Fry[...?...]

Robot Santa ClausNoel Coward (1899-1973) was an English playwright, composer, directer, actor and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what TIME magazine called "a sense of personal style, a combination of chic, pose, and poise"

Part 8

Description[edit source]

Fry thanks Amy.

Objectives

Rewards[edit source]

  • 5 Santa Medal 100 XP

Story

Power Suit AmyCongratulations, everybody! We took down Turbo Neptunian as a team!

The ProfessorDon't celebrate yet. We still have to defeat Robot Santa's other goons.

Power Suit AmyCan't we just enjoy this victory?

The ProfessorCertainly not. I didn't get to be 170 years old by enjoying anything!


Power Suit FryThanks for the help, Amy. The team couldn't have gotten this far without you.

Power Suit AmyI want to thank you too, Fry. Except I can't, 'cause you're the one who opened up our universe to attack from other universes in the first place.

Power Suit AmyAnd you're also the one who blabbed to Robot Santa about our surprise attack plan.

Power Suit FryI guess we're one of those teams that squabbles amongst itself but comes together when it's threatened by a common enemy.

Power Suit AmyUh-huh. Right now you're the common enemy. struggle to defeat a constant stream of enemies and collect arbitrary items I'm supposed to think have value.

The ProfessorWhat ever happened to the good old days, when I spent my time humiliating academic rivals and receiving honorary degrees?

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