| Hard Bargains | |
|---|---|
| |
| Details | |
Story type |
Main Goal |
Event |
Lrrr Strikes Back |
Previous Goal |
The Anti-Omicron Force |
Part 1
Description[]
- Lrrr sends his UFOs.
Objectives
- Omicronian Ships are invading!
- Complete "Curfew Breakers"
Rewards[]
- 50
75 
Story[ | ]
I am confused. I know the Earthicans are weak, but I'm pretty sure they have more than four people in their army.
Do you not get it Lrrr? They do not take you seriously! They are laughing at your threats!
The I shall show them how Lrrr treats those who do not fear his wrath!
You're going to tell them "Yes, dear" and quietly take out the garbage?
Omicronian ships are now patrolling the streets of New New York -- a tactic sure to force them into hiding!
Or they can just use the subways, Mr. Tactical Genius.
EMPEROR Tactical Genius!
Emperor? Please. You're an elected executive. And you're polling in the low 30s.
Part 2
Description[]
- Professor requests backup.
Objectives
- Have The Professor Drink 15-Hour Energy (4h 0m 0s)
- Place the White House Podium
Rewards[]
- 50
75
Story[ | ]
My crew's been fighting the Omicronians alone this whole time. When are we getting backup?
Don't you worry. Backup is coming. In the form of a motivational speech from your ruler.
Ruler? Please. You're an elected executive. And you're polling in the low 30s.
But I'm about to make a speech about aliens ruining our country. That kind of scare tactic always boosts my positives!
It looks like the troops were energized after my speech. Agnew, give yourself a pat on the back.
I suspect they were mainly energized by the bottles of 15-Hour Energy I gave them.
You mean we've got a stadium full of hopped-up grunts with nothing to do? We can't waste an opportunity like that!
Print up and distribute 50,000 cards that form a mosaic picture of me.
Part 3
Description[]
- Lrrr declares a curfew
Objectives
- Have Bender Break Curfew (6h 0m 0s)
- Build Horseshoe Tower (0s)
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
People of Earth, I am declaring a mandatory curfew! You must return to your homes by 8 PM -- just in time to watch "Single Female Lawyer" reruns!
You can't do that! I've got a social life to maintain!
Perhaps you can learn something from Single Female Lawyer, the woman who has everything but feels nothing.
I already feel nothing! But I WOULD like to have everything, so I'll give it a shot.
Why are you indoors when there's so much darkness outside to cover your actions?
Because of Lrrr and his stupid curfew. Nobody's allowed out at night until we surrender or hand you over to him.
You don't think it's enough to make anyone rat me out, do you?
Don't worry, buddy, I'll "protect" you.
Those quote marks were so loud I could hear them!
Part 4
Description[]
- Nixon makes a deal.
Objectives
- Have Bachelor Fry Take a Hobo Nap (6h 0m 0s)
- Have Amy Eavesdrop (5h 0m 0s)
- Defeat 15 Omicronian Birds
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Listen, Lrrr, as one elected executive to another... If I bring you Fry's head, will you stop the invasion?
Your offer is intriguingly two-faced...
I can bring it any way you want. On a stick, or a silver platter...
I prefer the traditional Omicronian presentation -- inside a bowling-ball bag.
Stop right there, Nixon! Word n the street is that you're planning to turn Fry over to Lrrr. I won't let you get away with it!
Look, Missy, nobody but Woodward and Bernstein ever stopped me from getting away with anything! So unless you work for the Washington Post...
I don't, and you know it!
That calls for an "arroo"!
However, my father does own it.
Part 5
Description[]
- Amy starts a smear campaign.
Objectives
- Build Public Restroom (0s)
- Defeat 2 Omicronian Guards
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Look, Fry, Nixon intends to hand you over to Lrrr. But don't worry. I have a plan to smear him in the press.
But he brags about doing horrible things all the time! He's pretty much smearproof!
If you stick to the facts, yes. But I intend to make up false stories about him and leak them to the liberal media.
That's brilliant! The liberal media will print anything, no matter how false it is, as long as it makes the president look bad!
God bless them.
I just uploaded a video portraying Nixon as a Robot Devil worshipper.
By "Robot Devil worshipper." you mean a man who worships the Robot Devil, or a robot who worships the real devil?
I don't know. Whichever one's worse. CNN will know how to spin it.
Part 6
Description[]
- Malfunctioning Eddie pleads for help
Objectives
- Have Malfunctioning Eddie Report an Accident (1m 0s)
- Have Bender Assess the damage (1h 0m 0s)
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Wassup, Malfunctioning Eddie? How's the car business?
Lousy. See that Omicronian ship hovering right over my lot? They're scaring people away! You gotta help me take 'em down. Bender.
I'd like to, but the Omicronians Are pretty much invincible.
THEY ARE??!!
[...]
Good news, Eddie! When your head exploded, the shrapnel destroyed the Omicronian ship menacing your dealership!
Hallelujah! I'm back in business!
Not entirely. The ship crashed right on top of your new inventory.
[...]
Nice shot! Two for two!
Annnnd there go the used cars.
Part 7
Description[]
- Lrrr does damage control.
Objectives
- Defeat 1 Omicronian Ship
- Complete the mission "Bare Knuckle Shooting"
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Lrrr, listen! The Earthican Nixon who promised to surrender Fry is a Robot Devil worshipper! It was on the news!
Was it CNN? Because they always get everything exactly right. Plus they have informative infographics.
Yes, they had a 3-D animated chart showing all the image-conscious politicians who were abandoning Nixon.
Well, that's a group I don't want to be left out of. Tell Nixon the deal is off!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the anti-Omicronian rebellion seems to be succeeding.
Funny: you seem to enjoy being the bearer of bad news. In any care, they cannot prevail. I've got a foolproof secret strategy up my sleeve.
You don't have sleeves, remember? You had me remove them because you thought it would make your biceps look bigger!
Yet another one of your "foolproof secret strategies" that didn't pan out.