| Mechas Do It Better | |
|---|---|
| |
| Details | |
Story type |
Character Goal |
Event |
Lrrr Strikes Back |
Previous Goal |
Major Upgrade |
Part 1
Description[]
- Mecha-Hermes confronts a problem.
Objectives
- Have Mecha-Hermes Robolimbo (2h 0m 0s)
- Have Bender Instigate a Bar Fight (1h 0m 0s)
Rewards[]
- 50
75 
Story[ | ]
Mecha-Hermes shall now crush the Omicronians in single combat. Take me to the nearest gladiatorial forum.
What, like the Roman Coliseum? That's about 5000 miles away and 3000 years ago.
Surely there is a nearby arena where two warriors can maul each other with no holds barred until one inevitably dies?
Ah, what you want is a bar.
Where were you? I nearly got killed in that bar fight!
Mecha-Hermes was busy doing the robolimbo under a corner table.
The robolimbo?! What happened to mauling our enemies to death?
I am a master of both disaster and robolimbo. But my operating system can only handle one thread at a time.
Part 2
Description[]
- Mecha-Hermes does some cost-analysis.
Objectives
- Have Mecha-Hermes Audit the Company (3h 0m 0s)
- Have Scruffy Wipe It Down (4h 0m 0s)
Rewards[]
- 50
75
Story[ | ]
Not only can I decimate Omicronians, but with my new software, I can more efficiently manage our company resources.
Wow! Even as an exciting giant robot, you still find a way to be boring.
Mecha-Hermes resents your slam. He has many amazing powers...
Including the ability to find new ways to be boring!
I have been running a cost-benefit analysis on the staff. You come in dead last.
No fair! You didn't account for my many intangible contributions to the company!
The only intangibles you have are the contents of your underwear.
And if I included them, it would only lower your score.
Part 3
Description[]
- Mecha-Hermes does not sleep.
Objectives
- Have Mecha-Hermes Try Some Curried Goat (4h 0m 0s)
- Have The Professor Conduct a Sleep Experiment (1h 0m 0s)
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Heremes, you're expending way too much energy. Your body is in dire need of rest.
Nonsense! My robot body requires no rest -- merely a complete battery recharge.
But whenever we plug you in, you start streaming movies in 128k and you never recharge!
Mecha-Hermes WILL find out how Stella got her groove back, and no one can stop me.
At the rate you're consuming power, your body is in danger of meltdown.
Then install a heat sink on the surface of my casing.
Where? Every square inch of your body is already heat-sunk!
There is a large flat area on my ass.
Way above my pay grade, Mecha-Hermes.
Part 4
Description[]
- Mecha-Hermes disrupts his coworkers.
Objectives
- Have Mecha-Hermes Shop for Oil (6h 0m 0s)
- Have Amy Plug Her Noseholes (4h 0m 0s)
Rewards[]
- 50 75
Story[ | ]
Ew, gross! What are you doing?
I'm getting my oil changed.
You're changing your own oil? At the office? That's wildly inappropriate!
I don't see you complaining when the printer changes its own toner.
Printers have different cultural norms than we do!
The company took a vote, and we want the old Hermes back!
Mecha-Hermes concurs. I will restore myself to my old body.
That was easy! What made you change your mind?
My psychocybernetic circuitry fails to react as expected to certain organic substances.
To put it another way, it is impossible to achieve mecha-mellow.